a little bit of everything

Finally awake after almost 30 hrs of continuous sleeping!
Dream after the other, felt so real that I almost believed I was living it!
Every time I opened my eyes I saw the tomorrow closer than I ever thought.

I am waiting for tomorrow. I will keep waiting until its here. And it will be here sooner than ever!
Sometimes its so hard for me to keep up with all that’s happening in my life. Knowing deep in my heart that i am blessed..so much blessed.
A learning process that never stops, life…
I never stopped believing for a moment and I shall never stop. Tomorrow, the day after today will be here in few hours…and the tomorrow i’m waiting for will soon be here too.
Untill then, I will do my best to be true to myself.
I will hold on..and I will not give up my dreams which I live for!

Next time you are at the grocery’s, look for “Bonne Maman”.. PEACH preserve. Trying out many different brands, this is the best up till now that I laid my hands on.
Enchant your taste buds with the soft texture of Peach that melts in your mouth, enriching all your senses.

Some of the best things in life come in glass jars, sealed with the LOVE FOR PEACH.

Tomorrow will soon be here my Peach,
When WE will be in eachother’s reach,
Living the joys, every moment of it and each.

It’s one of these days, where you wake up asking yourself “Where am I?”, “What is the day today?”, “Is it morning or night?”.. And soon you realize it is morning, it’s Sunday and you are in your bed, then you start making sense of all the rest of the questions dwelling inside your head. If you don’t get up from the bed right away, your brain will take control and start pausing all kinds of questions. Jumping through time and space, making your heart beat faster trying to explain answers to these questions that reason never understood.

It’s Easter Sunday! I open my eyes, after being captured inside a snow ball. Being frozen almost all night through. Fighting nature which decided to revolt against human, to show the anger and the power it had in its folds.
It’s Easter Sunday! I open my eyes, after seeing and watching a gang of young street boys, abandoned from life, running around and causing chaos in the streets.
It’s Easter Sunday! I open my eyes, after meeting a dear friend, who seemed distressed by the workers who were renovating his house. He was old and sick. He kept asking me “what do you think???” . I thought the job was poorly done, but I couldn’t tell him so, as I saw in his eyes the pain he was suffering, and didn’t want to make it worse.
It’s Eater Sunday! I open my eyes, to the morning sun, that for some time has been hiding itself from me in the white skies of Dubai. Million thoughts restle to be the first to be taken care of.

I JUMP OUT OF BED!

“Good morning beautiful Happy Easter <3 May your day be prosperous and filled with love " That's the first words I get to hear from the best little brother I could ever wish to have.
"Thanks hokis! same to you… I thought you were calling to ask about something, is that all you wanted to say?!" I ask.
"Yeah.. got to go, have a wonderful day" I smile and hang up…. I can see a thousand thoughts standing in line to pop into my face… I JUST WOKE UP..It's Easter sunday!

I start to write, hoping to put some of these thougths away. But with each thought wirtten down, more than one rush in to stand the line.

It's 9:00am.

Mind is upset
Heart is confused
And Soul is determined to make the best out of this day.

Happy Easter <3

A moment in time was all it took
Our eyes met with that very first look
I knew at once that you were he
The one man who will always be

Days and nights, I wished and dreamed
To be near you but impossible it seemed
Something in me said it was not
It was the only hope I got

A year passed and there were we
Dancing spirits waiting to be set free
When suddenly the rivers flood
Emotions spread like flowers bud

A soft kiss on the lips with a tender touch
So unearthly, felt nonesuch
Flying into a world of our own
Lived the dawn of tomorrow unknown

A dream, a reality or something in between
Day by day I saw the unseen
A treasure in each others arm
Timeless love with a magical charm

My heart Spoke the words “I love you”
You heard its beat…..you said “I do”
I saw in your eyes what you disguised
Read on your face what you despised

I believed in you, in what we shared
Fully aware I was prepared
To live the moments with you
A dream that may be true

My love for you only grew
As deep as the ocean blue
As high as the stars in the sky
It was given wings to freely fly

Difficult it was for me to bear
The others who had to share
Your lonely nights and days
While awake on my knees I used to praise

Keep him my Lord safe and sound
Protect him from all the evil around
Enlighten his spirit, touch his heart
Show him God, your work of art
I believe in you, I trust you will
Hear my words, and my prayers fulfill
Bless him with peace, fill him with love
Surround him with angels who praise above
In your name I place his heart and mine
To nourish under your power divine

Time was never on my side
The skipping beat cried
The fear of not beating again
It ached the unbeatable pain

Scattered dreams, all over the ground
Lying on the floor, broken and unsound
Lonely wishes crying to stay alive
Believing in the skipping beat hoping to survive

Unborn children, buried deep within my heart
Wishes of sharing a life with you, fallen apart
A colourful drawing of a picture instead
Of moments in time painted in blue and red

Your eyes are my safety shore
Where my heart rests its beats on before
Your arms is my castle where I belong
In which I fear I shall not stay for long

I am a bubble in your air
Floating here and there
Close to you today
But one day I will be swept away

You found me, I found you
We became what time allowed us to
Everytime we touch, everytime we kiss
I live you, i live the bliss

More than you think..I do
I know you feel the same way too
Same dreams, different realities
Visions filled with uncertainties

With and without you
Close and far from you
You know and I know
The hands of time will show

Words do not want to be spoken and letters refuse to be written. Here I sit infront of the laptop, typing with my fingers, forcing my heart to speak. Heart is hardly responding. The fear of not beating again is shaking it’s ground.
I hear tomorrow calling, to reveal the mysteries heart fears to live……..

In this world of mine, everything seems absurd. I look in the mirror, and see a face, I hardly recognize as mine. Even when I hear myself speak, the sound of my voice seems so loud in my thoughts.
Something is changing in me. I can feel it’s movement. Like a river, or may be more like a stream. Running in me from head to toe. I feel flooded!
A sense of non sense is surrounding my thoughts. Thought after the other, non stop flowing. Something being born, or something longing to die.
A beautiful world, so much to give. But how can I give what I do not have!?
Trust, loyalty, love, and so many other words, I cannot describe, cannot understand.
Those who care are rare.
Now, right now, my heart is aching. As if someone is pulling it out of my chest, beating it up. Am I beating up my own heart? I ask myself and sigh.
It’s all about time…. Time Time Time
Too much going on, all at the same time.
I feel lucky and blessed. Yet I feel sad and desperate.
Afraid to let happiness in, I shut it out!
I smile from the heart, the heart that is no longer the same.
Innocence has left my heart to worry.
I fear I fear I fear…. Time.
I pray with faith. The faith I doubt, I have.
Days and weeks… months and years………. time..time, be with me one.

Life will give us what we want. Sometimes because we believe in it so much and deserve to enjoy it, other times to show us that what we want is just not for our best interest.
The thing is, you can never tell, until you live it. Only then you are able to understand why things happen the way they do.
Living all that, never means it was time wasted. In fact it is experience gained.
It hurts, but in a good way, not a painful one. Some things are just out of our hands. Other forces have the higher hand and the final say in it.

The more we learn about ourselves, the less we know about life.

Here comes the morning once again, after hours of darkness, shines the rays of light.
The peaceful night is over, and the busy morning is back. A new day, to be followed by a new night.
Everything new! Even us. With each rising morning and with each falling night, we are given new experiences and knowledge.
This beautiful nature adds something new to our personalities and characters.
By time we are able to learn more about ourselves, what matters most to us and what makes the difference in everything around us.
Although nature is the same, the sun and moon are the sun and moon, yet each morning and night are different. Just like us, we are different. Each one of us sees his/her own world through eyes that are never the same.
It is such an enriching life, when we are able to let time introduce us to ourselves. As each single day a new you is there, to meet you, to become one.
So, let’s be welcoming! And embrace the changes nature offers us.

In the middle of the chaos I hear the sudden silence. As if time freezes, along with everyone and everything around me, except me!
I listen carefully to what time has to say. I fear to hear what I cannot take. Yet, I accept and bend to the wind, shielded with patience, which I recently have been introduced to. Holding it close to me, protecting myself against myself, and against the changes time brings everyday.

When times freezes, I am able to see things as they really are.
I am able to see the real characters behind the faces. The silence which speaks louder than words, tell everything that words don’t dare to say. Virtues, morals, ethics, values that are all well spoken of, vanish when the silence is there. All run away and hide as they never belonged to the person who, made clear at a time, that these were part of him/her, in fact he/she was made of them all.
And on the other hand, I see hearts that were silent, speaking what they are made of. Hearts of gold that don’t speak of their virtues for they are busy living it!

I feel surrounded with this and that, each contribute to my own character, with what they hold within their owns. By being next to pretenders, I lose a lot of my powers which I am able to see when being close to the true beings, or whenever time freezes.
I see myself as a woman, who is willing to fight like no worrier ever fought, for what she believes in. A woman, who is brave enough to prove to the world around her that she is able to help change the bad to good and the weak to strong. A woman who believes in true love and how hard the coarse of true love is, willing to sacrifice her life to win the one love she was born to be with. A woman who sees tomorrow a better place regardless all the obstacles she is bound to face. A woman who is willing to spread love and care to any heart she meets, even if some of those hearts were black and dead.
But sadly enough, some of the people who claim virtue, are the same souls who drag you down. They drag you to places where you are forced to live the instabilities and insecurities that fill their lives, reflecting them on you. And in the middle of the chaos you find yourself living them too.

Thanks to time, I am able to know the pretenders from the real ones. People who claim what they don’t have and people who prove to you each day that silence speaks louder and deeds are what matter.
Thanks to time, I am able to choose, who to be around and who not to dare get close to.
And in the end, time alone has the say.

“What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?” George Eliot
Well said Mary Ann Evans. She is an english novelist, journalist, translator and one of the leading writers of the victorian era.
As you see, she used a male pen name. I’m sure she had her reasons.

Reading my morning quotes, this particular one stopped me.
Suddenly, I time travelled 12yrs back. I remembered asking dad for the first time “what is life? why are we here? what for?”
Ready to hear some answers that would satisfy me. Being aware that we were here for a reason(s). His answer was not at all what I was expecting to hear.
From that day on, the world around me had changed. I felt naked!
Since then, I have been walking with heavy questions over my shoulders, seeking for the answers. Unconsciously, I work hard to find answers to those questions which sometimes keep me from enjoying life as is.

Every day, I find new and exciting reasons to be alive.
Time is showing me more of life. Taking me to places were my expectations never dared to go.
Exploring my own self, my own life.

I recently had come to the conclusion that life is a personal experience.

Which gets me back to Marry Ann’s quote. In other words, since we are living different lives but living it together..Let’s just make it easier for one another.

I smile, and that’s how I wake up every morning!
For may be 15 minutes, then the smile fades away, while my thoughts start to wonder in my mind. Soon getting to my body and later to my heart!

I have been experiencing this for the last 2 or 3 months. I can feel the rhythm. The smile lasts longer, so does the rest that follows it.

I am fully aware that life holds great promises.

Inside me, runs the river. Slowly but deeply.
I can feel the flow, the water moving. Nothing stops it.

The river knows its water. The water is the river.
The river knows itself, that’s how it flows……….

I travel. Into nature, into others. To hear what they have to say.
My body is exhausted. So is my mind.
The heart is alive, and in total acceptance to whatever the body and mind bring of stress and fatigue. Ready to transform it into peace and contentment.

I hear my heart. I know it.

My heart is in the hands of time. Every beat has it’s tick and every tick has it’s beat.
My body and mind are seeking time.

I shall travel within. To the center of my being. For everything lies inside and not elsewhere.

For different reasons, sometimes, it seems so difficult to visualize what’s best for you.
The best today is not always the best yesterday and may not be the best tomorrow.
To be your own judge is bad. And to be judged by others is even worse!
The best, the right, the important, the crucial, the healthiest, the…etc., it all adds on you extra pressure, you are in no need of.
Which in turn makes me come to the realization that, we are here to just live, be. Not here to prove something to anyone..and for sure not to prove anything to ourselves.
Just trying to see the reasons why we tend to do so, I stumble across two huge rocks, that block our way!
Comparison and competition.
Wow! They are for sure taking all we got of powers, from doing what we should be doing. Not the best, the right…but the thing we believe in and want to.
We become so obsessed, finding all kinds of reasons that keep us in that horrible dark room after being fallen into it, where you can only see yourself through others, compare and compete!
In that dark room, there is a small window, right in the corner, few of us dare to go near it. The fear of seeing your own reflection in the window keeps you from seeing your true colours. After you are almost colour blind(stumbling and falling because of those nasty rocks).
Most of us were born and raised to live in the dark. To live in groups, trained to do the best and be right. But according to what!?
Society, relegion, culture, tradition..well, all these should not stop you from moving towards the window. Infact, help you take bigger steps!
This life, is so full of colours. And somehow, we, some of us, choose to ignore it and go for the basics!
We are here not to prove anything! not to be anyone but ourselves.
Unfortunatly, I sometimes run away from the window, to the dark… compare and compete.. very much aware that by doing so, I am losing my colours.
It is challenging! But when the right time has come, it will not be anymore.
All we have to do is to keep walking to the window, until we are able to step out of the darkness.
Don’t think of the when and how, just keep walking and time will take care of you.
Once you have stumbled and fallen, it becomes your choice alone to get back on your feet and move on, also becomes your choice to stay there and feel at home!
I personaly, had enough of both those desructive habbits!
Life is such an adventure, where you get to learn different things, only to make you wiser, so you are able to follow your journey in full trust that you will reach to where you are destined to be.

Without you I smile.. With you my heart smiles.
Without you I see the beauty.. With you I enjoy the beauty.
Without you I eat.. With you I taste.
Without you I go to bed to sleep.. With you I sleep to dream.
Without you I walk in hope.. With you I walk in faith.
Without you I wish.. With you I believe.
Without you I am me.. With you I am myself.
Without you hours are days.. With you years are moments.
Without you time goes by.. With you time comes along.
Without you the world is mine.. With you I am the world

Without you I survive.. With you I am alive.